The Origin of Unaffordable Art

|Setting| 

Dutch Country, Pennsylvania. 

An unseasonably warm, clear nite in the Fall of 2023. 

|Story|

Fullmoonius Funk sat in a vintage yellow lawn chair on the patio of his small apartment. Though he was a bit of a loser at the time, smoking a fat cigar made him feel like a man of import; like a man who is often faced with difficult decisions, yet seems to make them with stoic aplomb. 

Through pale smoke, Funk noticed a bright, white light moving low and slow from the south. It was silent on a path to fly directly over him. As it approached, the light suddenly blinked off, followed by a quick procession of similar lights that popped on and off like the flashbulbs on early cameras.

The lights flashed in a complete ring until they reached the original position, where the craft went completely dark. Though it was incredibly low, the physical craft was neither seen nor heard.

A few days later, Funk was struck with a sudden and forceful urge to paint, which was odd because he had shown minimal artistic ability or interest in thirty-eight years of life.

After buying cheap acrylic paints and canvases, Funk went to work producing seventeen highly provocative and unaffordable pieces over the course of a few weeks. He often felt like he was in a trance, as though his hand was being guided from "elsewhere". The pieces had no forethought and a few were painted in mere minutes. The resulting imagery and symbolism adds to the mystery surrounding this sudden artistic fury. 

Reflecting now, a few years later, Funk wonders if ET came back that night for a "probing". He believes ET used a glowing fingertip to imbue him with the temporary ability in order to convey messages, which are embedded in the paintings. 

And while his wife "doesn't get it" and makes him keep the paintings in the attic because, "they're creepy and they'll scare the children", the paintings are completely unaffordable because of the story, source, symbolic content, limited supply and subjective, often head-scratching valuation of modern art.